Diagnosis.

You are in a perpetual quest to find the new, the exciting. Emotionally volatile, you are known for sudden changes of opinion, of appreciation, and behavior. Following rules and established methods is difficult for you and the difficulties of higher education are usually quite daunting. Knowledge is best gained through an intimate association with the matter at hand. Usually driven by attitudes and desires of the group, you are talented in an established field of endeavor. Emotions come and go without a strong understanding of their causes. They are unexpected guests in an otherwise placid landscape. You live by your own codes of conduct, which can be noble or terrible depending on the individual. Authority is meaningless to you. You hate to be predictable, at all costs. Rarely verbally effusive, you can at times feel as if your feelings are too deep for words. You are very observant, but rarely express these observations to others.

Wala ka na ba iba pang masasabi kundi paulit ulit lang?

Hindi mo naman kasi ako kilala kaya yan nalang parati mo sinasabi na hindi ko alam kung anong point mo. Seryoso. Nakakatawa ka, anong atraso ko? Haha! Galit na galit ka sakin. Ni hindi kita kilala, dinadaan daanan lang kita.

Ano ba gusto mo mangyari? Mainis din ako sayo? Gayahin talaga kita or mainggit din ako sayo? Magselos ako sayo? Hoy, get a life nga. Fucking move on. Para kang gago. Tumigil ka na. Dinidedma na nga kita gigil na gigil ka parin, muka ka ng tanga pinapakelaman trip ko sa buhay ko. O sige, para matapos na.

Grabe, ang ganda ganda mo. Ang sexy sexy mo, ang galling galling mo pumorma, ang saya ng buhay mo, ikaw na may BETTER life, ginagaya ka ng lahat ng tao dahil wow, ICON ka. Ikaw na hindi jologs, Ano pa? O, ikaw na bahala mag isip kung ano pa, ayan sinabi ko na
.
Ikaw na te, ikaw na talaga! Haha! Ikaw na lahat. Ikaw na lahat ng magaling.

Mag hulos dili ka, huminahon ka, relax ka lang, chill. Wag ka na mainis. Silip ka kasi ng silip dito. Di ka ba masaya sa buhay mo? Idle ka rin te? Ine echos mo ko sa pag ka busy mo. Nakakaloka ka. =)

O, eto kape te.
KAPE! Mag kape ka.

Nothing

I feel nothing

Charles Darwin.

“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.”

My eyes are the windows to my heart.

A girl doesn't need to tell you straight up how she feels, it's written all over her eyes. If you can see how she feels without her telling you, then you definitely deserve her heart.

:D

Happy lang.

Hahaha!

Wag tayo dun sa tama..

Were better than our "briancells!"

LOL

Datum right

An average looking person with a lot of confidence beats a really good looking person with low self confidence, any day. Stop beating yourself up, you’re worth much more than you think you are. Besides, appearance is only skin deep. Personality impacts much more. 

I ran away.

I wish I have my own car. I hate riding a cab.

I'm not okay. I hope I can tell him why, but I can't.

I'm at a friends loft.

I feel such a burden. I need my best friend..

But what I really need is...

MY HERO.

Are we there yet?

His childhood watch that he now gave me.



I'm so touched. How I miss the person who once own this adorable watch.
I miss you oh so terribly, to the MAX.

When someone says your "often used word"

Fool don’t copy my swag.

Hahahahahah! Fuck! Can't stop laughing!

I love this movie!
(Rush Hour)

Well..

People will hate you, rate you, break you and shake you. How strong you stand is what makes you, uniquely you.

Yoda

“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”
(Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith)

Omg.

I almost gave a fuck.

-

If only miles are just two blocks away.

Ten reasons to smile.

It makes you attractive.
It changes your mood.
It is contagious.
It relieves stress.
It boosts your immune system.
It lowers your blood pressure.
It releases endorphins, natural pain killers and serotonin - natural antidepressant.
It lifts the face and makes you look younger.
It makes you seem successful.
It helps you stay positive.

10 simple things that will make you smile.

Hugging someone after crying.
Finally peeing after a long car ride.
Getting a high score after studying so hard.
Heart-to-hearts with your bestfriend.
Lying down on your bed knowing that you have no deadlines to rush.
Going home early and seeing your favorite meal.
Getting to lie on your own bed after a long vacation.
Your dog running excitedly towards you after a long day.
Being told how much you mean to someone.
A thank you.

Follow my heart.

I learned not to give a rat’s ass and just do what my heart tells me to. As cliche as that sounds, and as much as I might regret it later.. It’s what I wanted to do, at that moment. If it’s bad, it’s experience. Learn from it. If it’s good, then that’s great. Appreciate.

Strawberrytale.

One day when I’m like 30, I’m gonna log onto my blogspot, for the first time in who knows how long it’ll be by then, and read all of my posts. Every single one. And I’m prolly gonna either laugh at how ridiculous I was, or cry because

I’ll never be this young and naive again.

Yourlovestory.

They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her. Today, she's being willful again. Her: "Why can't you be the photographer for my friend's wedding? She promised she'd pay." Him: "I don't have time that day." Her: "Humph!" Him: "Huh?" Her: "Don't have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need." Him: "I... someone will definitely recognize my work some day." Her: "Humph! I don't care, you'll have to do it for her!" Him: "No." Her: "Just this once?" Him: "No." Negotiation's broken. So, she gave the final warning: "Give me a Yes within three days, or else..." First day, she "withheld" the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi... Except the double bed, to show her "benevolence". Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn't mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets. Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, "Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences." He's nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she'll end this state. She doesn't give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees. Third day, night. On the bed. He's lying on the bed, looking to one side. She's lying on the bed, looking to the other side. Him: "We need to talk." Her: "Unless it's about the wedding, forget it." Him: "It's something very important." She remains silent. Him:"Let's get a divorce." She did not believe her ears. Him: "I got to know a girl." She's totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that's the only place she didn't go through yesterday. How careless. Him: "She's a nice girl." Her tears fell. Him: "She has a good personality too." She's heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart. Him: "She says that she'll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married." She's very jealous because she said the same thing in the past. Him: "She loves me truly." She wishes to sit up and scream at him "Don't I?" Him: "So, I think she won't force me to do something that I don't want to do." She's thinking, but the rage won't subside. Him: "Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?" Her: "...!" He brings the photo before her eyes. She's in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face. He sighs. She cries. He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket. He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He's asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him. She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn't want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks. She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh. It's a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek. He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep. "You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

A bad dog.

DID YOU THINK OF ME WHILE FUCKING HER?

Oh holy sweet mami chula!

I just found out my ex girlfriend joined Binibining Pilipinas 2011, and guess what? She's on Top 24 prediction.



WHAT THE FUCK? DAYUUUUMMM! That bitch! Hahaha. Oh well I'm happy for her. :)

I miss your kiss :* your sweet chili lips of yours. Hmmm. :/



Congrats future beauty queen.

Starburst.

To make me happy and to keep my boredom away. :|

Fact opinion.

People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does.

Forget me not.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I just know.

There’s just too much to see waiting in front of me and I know that I just can’t go wrong..

When you got nothing to do on a tuesday night.

The truth would be worthless if no one ever lied,
So we carry our shame in the interest of pride.
And we have all these questions to make us go roam,
and we’ve got all this distance to make us come home.

Interesting eh?

15 Interesting Facts about Dreams

1. You forget 90% of your dreams. Within 5 minutes of waking, half of your dream is forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone.
2. Blind people also dream. People who became blind after birth can see images in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion.

3. Everybody dreams. Every human being dreams (except in cases of extreme psychological disorder). If you think, you are not dreaming, you just forget your dreams.

4. In our dreams, we only see faces that we already know. Our mind is not inventing faces – in our dreams we see real faces of real people that we have seen during our life but may not know or remember. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces throughout our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.

5. Not everybody dreams in color. A full 12% of sighted people dream exclusively in black and white. The remaining number dream in full color. Studies from 1915 through to the 1950s maintained that the majority of dreams were in black and white, but these results began to change in the 1960s. Today, only 4.4% of the dreams of under-25 year-olds are in black and white. Recent research has suggested that those changing results may be linked to the switch from black-and-white film and TV to color media.

6. Dreams are symbolic. If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language.  Whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.

7. Emotions; The most common emotion experienced in dreams is anxiety. Negative emotions are more common than positive ones.

8. You can have four to seven dreams in one night. On average, you can dream anywhere from one or two hours every night.

9. Animals dream too. Studies have been done on many different animals, and they all show the same brain waves during dreaming sleep as humans. Watch a dog sleeping sometime. The paws move like they are running and they make yipping sounds as if they are chasing something in a dream.

10. Body Paralysis.

Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is a normal stage of sleep characterized by rapid movements of the eyes. REM sleep in adult humans typically occupies 20-25% of total sleep, about 90-120 minutes of a night’s sleep.

During REM sleep the body is paralyzed by a mechanism in the brain in order to prevent the movements which occur in the dream from causing the physical body to move. However, it is possible for this mechanism to be triggered before, during, or after normal sleep while the brain awakens.

11. Dream Incorporation. Our mind interprets the external stimuli that our senses are bombarded with when we are asleep and make them a part of our dreams. This means that sometimes, in our dreams, we hear a sound from reality and incorporate it in a way. For example you may be dreaming that you are in a concert, while your brother is playing a guitar during your sleep.

12. Men and women dream differently. Men tend to dream more about other men. Around 70% of the characters in a man’s dream are other men. On the other hand, a woman’s dream contains almost an equal number of men and women. Aside from that, men generally have more aggressive emotions in their dreams than the female lot.

13. Precognitive Dreams. Results of several surveys across large population sets indicate that between 18% and 38% of people have experienced at least one precognitive dream and 70% have experienced déjà vu. The percentage of persons that believe precognitive dreaming is possible is even higher, ranging from 63% to 98%.

14. If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming.

15. You can experience an orgasm in your dreams. You can not only have s e x as pleasurable as in your real life while dreaming, but also experience an  o r g a s m  as strong as a real one, without any wet results. The sensations felt while lucid dreaming (touch, pleasure and etc..) can be as pleasurable and strong (or I believe even stronger) as the sensations experienced in the real world.

Hmmm :)

So just go with it.

Each day, life will send you little windows of opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity. Shrink from them and your life will be small, feel the fear and run to them anyway, and your life will be big.


Life’s just too short to play little.

Thought of the day.

Our mistakes don’t make or break us. If we are lucky, they simply reveal who we really are, what we’re made of. Challenges will come, but if you treat them simply as tests of who you are, you’ll come out of it not bitter and victimized, but smarter and stronger.

One who listen and understand.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Curiosity.

Is the cure for boredom.

At the end of my own courage and my own strength.

I am so despondent that all I feel like doing is sleeping. I feel so tired and drained. I can't seem to settle down and enjoy life, I'm always chasing rainbows.

When?

How do I start?

Dear blogspot.com

You made me talk about things I've never told anybody.

This afternoon.

Cali baby.

8:6 am

So yesterday I had my right eyebrow pierced again. I just decided to bring back the old me, the HIGHSCHOOL ROCKER GIRL. lol It's funny having many piercings and having a tongue ring is oh so irritating and annoying. Haha but it was cool though, back in the days. But all are just a phase! Haha but this eyebrow piercing of mine is my favorite. I don't think I will ever take it off now that i have it again. I mean that WAS my trademark before.

Short boy cut hair, a barbecue (barbel on ear) right ear, tongue pierced, eyebrow pierced, black nail polish, odd girl = Carla Shaye

Lol
And then cseifuvhoeiufvhowrifuhvow. I reached 18and told myself, it's not cool. Haha! I should be like A LADY. So yeah.
Now it's just the new me! Dark, weird and mysterious + girly side of me. :D

TaDa!

"Carla Shaye 2011"

Fact!

When comet Nibiru aligned with the earth and sun on Feb 27, 2010 there were 14earthquakes recorded with magnitues above 6.0 all over the world. 8.8 in Chile causing a magnetic pole shift of 3degrees. Strange weather patterns are now seen like flood in Africa, the sun rising two days early 'Arctic sunrise' observed in Greenland and even the Florida airport Runway have to be renumbered by 10 degrees. The comet was 6.047AU away from us. On the next alignment March 15, 2011 the comet will just be 2.099AU away projected based on NASA data to yield a 25 degree pole shift with a minimum/maximum earthquake magnitude of 9.7 anywhere on earth.

Worst is the next alignment on September 26, 2011 because comet will be in between earth and sun at 0.392AU distance only. A projected 240 times effect. Please search "NASA-Near Earth Object Program."

Spell A-ngas.

eto yun boy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUgMImXTnJQ

M u s i c.

Rich bitch - Die Antwoord

Phoooom!

How I feel.

I don’t mind when our conversations get a little boring. I don’t mind when we’re texting and we run out of things to say. When we’re hanging out together but not doing anything, well I don’t mind that either. It doesn’t matter to me because I finally realized that when you’re truly in love, every moment spent together doesn’t have to be breath-taking, that you’ll still feel like the luckiest person alive even through the most unexciting times, and you will feel completely comfortable together because you know that just having each other is more than enough.

U the mann

LOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLZZZ!!!!!

That kick ass moment when the teacher calls on you because they thought you weren't paying attention,

and you answer the question right.

WHAT NOW BITCH!?

I mean come to think of it.

Hating people is like burning down your house down to kill a rat.

Space Bound

“You want them when they don’t want you, soon as they do, feelin’s change”
-Eminem

Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. ‘How much do you love me?’ And, ‘Who’s in charge?’ Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all, trip us up and cause war, grief, and suffering.

Can't stop singing Jojo. lol I'm so popish! lol

"I ain't like those girlfriends, I don't have a LEASH on my man."

:)

M.

H T H.

How can person give you so much strength yet still be your only weakness?

DAMN this crazy love.

I hate you and then I love you.

It's like I want to throw
you off a cliff,

then rush to the bottom
to catch you.

Love.

You are soooo adorable!

Abstraction.

AAARRRRGGH!!

My allergies are fucking killing me! But I'm happy. Me and Maxi are doing great. We cool. Yay! Kiss kiss kiss love.

,,,,,

so if by chance you encounter her! keep her away from being FRAGILE cause no matter how strong or badass she appears, that's just really what's left of her and you're the only gluestick, mightybond, band aid scotch tape, packing tape masking tape magic tape and double sided tape thats keeping it together. REMEMBER THAT!

You're freaky.

Isn't it weird how people talk sh*t about you, when the only thing they actually know about you is your name?

Well well.

Dododo toot dooooo :D

Perfect combo.

Maybe you just need me cos u mom hates you as of now, and your brothas too. Well, why don't you go to your fucking ugly ass fucking drag queen red head chinky eyed, no eyebrows CHEAP CUNT SLUT WITH STD that looks like A MOMMA WITH TEN KIDS and get money from her, you know, use her like what SHE SAID, beat her up too like what YOU SAID, and be like.. Be like psycho PDA couple, always making a scenario, psycho drama shit. Yeah, guys fucking look good together.

Ain't raised no fool mothufucker.

I just read his message and I want to laugh. You know what's funny? He's not a good liar to me anymore, cos I know him already. I know how he play. I'm done with his shit, bullshit, horseshit, whoever's shit. I ain't buying it anymore. It's so pathetic that this is really what I think it is.
Now he's saying he wants me in his life forever, that that he wants me to be his wife and have kids with me. That he wants to fucking reach our dreams together. You know when a man is begging you, kisses your ass and tell you everything you wanna hear saying he won't fucking give up on you.

Do you see yourself right now? What happened to your self pride? I thought you the man? What happened to the "hey I'm big you're weak fuck off attitude?" hahaha. Damn, look at you. Do you even hear yourself right now? or are you high again?

Do you still remember that night? What you did to me? WHAT YOU SAID TO ME?

Are you pissed now cos you couldn't get what you want from me? I know what you are. I know guys like you. YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE. THAT'S JUST WHAT YOU ARE. You like hurting people. THAT'S JUST WHO YOU ARE. THAT'S HOW SICK YOU ARE. Inflicting pain and miseries to people around you.

Hurts like a bitch, eh?

False alarm.

Been waiting for my red days.. But.. Hmm... I guess it's positive.. I'm scared. But

EXCITED. =D

BUT

I
want him to change.

Just feelin' blah and typing my thoughts out.

so..

blah blah blah.

FACT.

there are always gonna be people that dont like u in life for various reasons, some personalities dont mesh well together.

My misery

Loves your company

El oh vee eeh

“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.”

Ye feel me?

You don't have to be talented to be famous or to get rich off of your name. All u have to do is become popular enough to make money off it.
Are u rapping to rap? Do u have a target audience in mind ur tryna capture?? Do u have a plan for your project or are u just making a cd?
If you're a rapper and your name is "IMA KILL YO MAMA" how many people do u think are not gonna listen to u based on that alone? Think of a universal approach when u come up with things.. Stop thinking about blowing up in your local area. think global.

Here's an example. Wiz Khalifa "mostly" makes music for the stoners.. That's his demograph so he caters to it. Atists need to find theres.

Oh my god, I wanna laugh.

What is the most memorable fashion show you've ever attended?

How long the night seems

to one kept awake by pain..

You callin' me a nigga?

Oh no you didn't! Don't you nuh-uh my uh-uh homegirl. (snapping fingers atcha)

Lols.
When somebody is tryna break me and makin' fun at me. I just joke around it, shrug it off. Done deal. No biggie. :)

Happy International Women's day to all the beautiful, strong and smart women out there. Let's all do the girl power and

WORK IT! Ha! ;D

I remember! I fucking remember.

When the teacher puts a complicated math problem on the board and tells me, "solve the problem".. i get up, and erase the board.

Problem solved, BITCH.
Bahahahaha!

So fuck you! Terror math teachers!

Weirdness called love.

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

I know things that he hates. But does he know mine?

Oh well, my day was so productive. LOL

Singapore 2011

My second time in Singapore. Ugh, I hate their food forever! Euwgh.

.,.,.

“You have to make her happy, the happiest she can be. Every morning, make her a hazelnut coffee with one packet of raw sugar, then save the packet to make a koala and hook it onto her mug. And if you don’t know how to make a koala, you buy an origami book and you stay up til 3 in the morning learning and getting stupid papercuts everywhere. Because that’s what makes her smile."

:)

“Laugh. Laugh out loud, and laugh often. And when circumstances call for silence, turn your laugh into smile ."

5:19

“I just think that some things are meant to be
broken, imperfect, chaotic. It’s the universe’s way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It’s how life is.”

Lame

I still believe in magic. Somewhere out there, Hogwarts is hosting a Quidditch match. Somewhere out there, Edward and Bella are hiding out. Somewhere out there, Sabrina the teenage Witch is chatting it up with Salem. And somewhere out there, a boy loves me.

Facebook.

Eduardo: So when will it be finished?
Mark: It won’t be finished. That’s the point. The way fashion’s never finished.
Eduardo: What?
Mark: Fashion! Fashion is never finished.
Eduardo: You’re talking about fashion? Really, you?
Mark: I’m talking about the idea of it. And I’m saying that it’s never finished.
Eduardo: Okay. But they manage to make money selling pants.

Self-harm.

41% of people believe that self-harm is selfish.

55% of people believe that it is stupid.

43% of people know someone that has self-harmed.

1 in 10 people have harmed themselves by the age of 16.



Self-harm does not make you suicidal.

It does not make you emo.

It is simply a way that many use to rid themselves of stress or pain or whatever it may be.



Over 3 million people in the US have self-harmed or still do.

Cutting is not just a girl’s disorder.

Anyone can do it.

Males, females, and persons that don’t fit into the gender binary.

And it is not just teens, either.

Both Princess Diana and Johnny Depp have gone through it.

The person who always seems “so happy” could be victim to it.

Anyone.



There are other forms of self-harm besides cutting or mutilation.

Some people don’t realize they’re doing it.

                    Some people don’t think it’s wrong.

                                               Some people become addicted.

People don’t hide their cuts or marks hoping someone will find them

…unless they actually want help to get better.

It’s often hidden because they’re afraid of someone seeing.

An orange ribbon is used as a self-harm awareness symbol.

Those suffering from it..

                     …have been through it

                                                    …or support it

                                                                         often wear one.



You do not have to have gone through anything like this to support it.

Sometimes all people want to know is that they’re not alone.



Don’t judge someone based on the marks they have on their arms.

You don’t know what they’ve been through.

Rather, be proud of them for making through it.

Life can be a bitch.

It's pass 10.

I should stop. Just.. Stop.

Call it what you want.

Doing something you really hate but you do it anyway because he loves it and it reminds you of him when he's gone.

I smell the scent of his hair, his neck. I wake up in the middle of the night feelin' his big arms around me. And when I turn the other way, I realized maybe I just miss him. The way he pisses me off, the way he calls my name, the way he kisses me, sweet convos when he's high, and when he jokes around. Damn, I can't believe I'm crying right now. This is the first time I cried over him, since he left Philippines.

Why do I love him so much? It only been 2 fucking months we been together. How could that be possible? Fell so hard in a short span of time. Why can't I hate him? I don't know. I can't. I just can't. I could never ever hate him. I always hope things are well for him.

Oh well..

Sleep hits me like a pill now. I hope I'm done crying. Gotta go now, time to hit the sack. Need to be early for a job interview later. Good luck to me.


Love,
Cas

Cold

Cold night.

4 in the morning.

I was browsing my games here in my iPad and I checked my voice memo, and I remember we accidentally recorded our conversation. It was just a second though. Me and you happy. I was laughing and you were asking me something. And then..

Loneliness and sadness hit me. Why'd you have to go and leave things like this?

My unique scars.

I absolutely love all my scars. Each one holds a story, and I feel like they make me who I am, even if they are from the lowest points in my life.

Vectors.

Think about it. At some point in your high school math career, you have learned about vectors. You know, those annoying things with the carrot notations <0,0> blahblah.

So yes, that’s exactly what a vector is: math.

In Adobe Illustrator, you create images using vectors. In Adobe Photoshop, you create them using pixels. Pixels are tiny squares. You’ll notice that when you zoom too closely into a regular photo or something you make in Photoshop, the quality becomes grainy and you can’t even tell what it is anymore. Eventually, all you’ll see is a bunch of colored squares.

Unlike Photoshop’s pixels, Illustrator’s vectors allow you to resize without losing quality. Even when you zoom in 38593%, you will have the same thing because it scales itself.

Of course going over the technicalities of art is like perfecting the tassels on a rug (aka pointless to the majority of the population), but it cannot be ignored.

I guess I understand that lines are blurred when things aren’t necessarily defined and such. Oh well! The more you know :)

Heeeeeaaaadache!

It's interesting how you can never be sure of what someone else perceives.
For example, what you may consider as red might not be the same red to someone else.

It’s also interesting how you can’t prove that other people are real. What if everyone but you is a robot or a figment of your imagination? A projection on your mental TV screen?

How can you prove that? You can’t.

Okay goodnight LOL I’m giving myself a headache.

Too many what if's.

What if we are like a game of sims and other people are playing us? There are too many what if’s lol
Or what if our perceived universe is actually a microcosm of another universe within that bigger universe with bigger inhabitants like in Horton Hears a Who and JGSDKLGJDSLGSDLJSDG OH MY GOD. THE POSSIBILITIES. THE AMBIGUITY. MY NERD SENSES ARE TINGLING.
HAHA omg i can’t find the picture but there was this post ages ago of; a picture of the inside of our brains and it was compared to a our galaxy/milkway and it was identical, what if we had another galaxy in each and one of our brains and that we were part of another universe like you described omg, MY BRAIN HURTS
I know what you’re talking about omg LOL.

WHAT IF LIFE IS LIKE THE BUTT SLAPPING LINE IN SPONGEBOB ONLY INSTEAD OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SLAPPING YOUR BUTT, IT’S A BUNCH OF UNIVERSES THAT ARE ALL CONNECTED TO EACH OTHER AND OMG IT’S A GIANT UNIVERSE SANDWICH.

I'm getting really tired.

Kapagod.

I'm so thankful.

I'm just so thankful that my parents are still together. And I love the fact that they support me with anything and I am happy with that. With my family and FEW REAL Friends, I could never ask for more. I thank God, that my life's NOT fucked up mess. Yes, they can break my heart. But not my life. And that's what makes me smile. That's what makes me proud. My family and true friends that makes me strong. I can say yeah, I am happy and living guilt-free!

ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE? :)

And as for you?

You know how karma goes. You wouldn't know what karma is if it knocked at your door. Be easy on me. You think I'm weak. You underestimate me so much. You always take advantage of me, sweetie. You're the sweetest arsehole I have ever met. You such a lovely wanker. Know your fucking limitations. Don't you ever fuck with me.


AGAIN.

Stop picking on me.

You're prolly fucking with your meth right now, huh? I know why you keep doing that shit. I feel you. Aww, look at you dumb shit. Look at your life, you have a lot of fuck buddies, you have loved a lot of man, you hang out with your friends, but nobody really sticks with you. You think they like you cos of YOU? Shit no, they hang around you cos they know they can get something outta you. You ruin other's life by making them do shit you do, drag them so they could be as pathetic as you. You love someone but the truth is, he just got no other choice. But you see, he is leaving. You know yourself that you're not a fucking loss when he leaves you and break your poor fucking heart.

YOU'LL BE A DEAD CHEAP HO DIGGING'N GHETTO STREETS, FUCKING EVERY MAN YOU'LL SEE.

You think I'm dumb. But I know what's going on. I ain't fucking scared, I take every fucking risk. I am ready. I GOT BACK UP.

But you? Haha. Hey, tell you what. Look in the fucking mirror, see your face? See, YOU ARE UGLY. That's the fucking truth. Your outside is ugly, your inside is ugly. Your life's a shit, you're full of shit and you talk a lot of shit. You know that honey bee, no need to keep lying to yourself. Just admit it.

P.s
Don't go to a fucking rehab homegirl. No need to be an escort and fuck an old man so you could earn money. Rehab's too expensive. Don't even go to mental honey. Take me fucking advice. G O J U M P OFF A CLIFF, since you're a waste of space. ;D

Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Be good.

I have so much more to say. Just by looking at you from head to toe. I can tell you how miserable your life is.

Eh paano nalang..

..Kung PANGET ka na, BOBO ka pa?

Never be bitter. Have a good day. :)

Keep calm,
Love your enemies.
Make them laugh.

Make them die laughing. :)

;)

Valentine's day.

Surprise candle-it lunch for Maxi.

On the first page of our story
the future seemed so bright
then this thing turned out so evil
I don't know why I'm still surprised
even angels have their wicked schemes
and you take that to new extremes
but you'll always be my hero
even though you've lost your mind

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
but that's all right because I like the way it hurts
just gonna stand there and hear me cry
but that's all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now there's gravel in our voices
glass is shattered from the fight
in this tug of war, you'll always win
even when I'm right
'cause you feed me fables from your hand
with violent words and empty threats
and it's sick that all these battles
are what keeps me satisfied

So maybe I'm a masochist

I try to run but I don't wanna ever leave
til the walls are goin' up
in smoke with all our memories

This morning, you wake, a sunray hits your face
smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction
hush baby, speak softly, tell me you're awfully sorry
that you pushed me into the coffee table last night
so I can push you off me
try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me
run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy
baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me
then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me
then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the
destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we
know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs
that we'll have each other's backs, 'cause we're that lucky
together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills,
you hit me twice, yeah, but who's countin'?
I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count
but together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain
our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refused counselin'
this house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand
square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it
with you I'm in my f-ckin' mind, without you, I'm out it

Visited Maxi's brother Richard.

Anyway..

Here's our pictures for the past few weeks when he was here.

Max in Florida.

All for SHOW. pft